Friday, November 21, 2014
It gets hard sometimes
It is so hard when you thought that you did a good job on an assignment, and feel the weight of disappointment when you receive an unsatisfactory grade. This week I was allowed to express myself in a creative manner, an exercise that I have been yearning for ever since I started University. I wrote a feature story on an elderly lady ( I might share it after I read through the comments while cringing). She announced the name of the person who did the best work, and when I didn't hear my name, my heart literally sank. During that moment, I threw my dreams of becoming an author out the window, because I didn't feel as though I was good enough. It gets hard, and I have been told on many occasions that rejection and the words "No" and "Not what we want" are sometimes the hardest to read or hear. After that class, as simple as it sounds, I wanted to stay in a dark room, but that will not help, so I dragged on.
This week I lost the motivation to do any work. I wanted someone to make me laugh, and a shoulder to lean on. I desperately needed someone to talk to, but I could not manage to see lost eyes, and confused expressions. Many people find it hard to understand certain dreams, and many do not get the passion that a dreamer has. I am quite young, but I believe that as long as I can write, I should, it doesn't matter the age. Disappointment is a hard pill to swallow, and to be honest, I still have not gotten my drive back. I am still moaning a bit, and trying to get back to my old self. I realized that it took only one experience to tear me apart, and I learnt that I should be tougher, because this was so small compared to big, bad world I am about to venture into.
I am just trying to give a bit of encouragement to everyone. I want people to understand that we are humans and we are allowed to get sad, but at the same time, "Do not weep as those who have no hope." We are not sure of the future, and how good or bad it will be, but while we work and wait, remember "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Sit a little and analyse the situation, but please remember not to sit for too long and glue your bottom to a chair that's going nowhere.
Until next time,
"Laugh as long as you breathe, love as long as you live" (Unknown)